I am seriously stressed up. The Career Exhibition at Suntec is coming up in a few more hours. By then, it will be D Day, where my directors see the booth and start giving (bad)comments.
I was attending to this stupid event the whole of today. Out of office to see to the voice recording, then at the booth until 10.30pm to see to the construction. And I have to admit that the result is less than satisfactory, to put it nicely. It really, really helps to be less critical, and to do less nit picking. It hurts and it is annoying when you spend so much time on something, and when the final product is up, all you get are people who make insensitive comments like “the size of the chart is wrong”, there is a missing comma there”, etc. You get it, little little details! And I was very very pissed off when my colleague gave comments like this. I mean, what do you expect me to do? There is no time to change anything now right? People are always more critical when it is not their own work.
The week so far has been nothing short of a chockful of emotions for me. Last Thursday, we arranged over MSN to meet for lunch yesterday (Tuesday) as his boss wanted some recruitment brochures from the different ministries. The conversation was good; it felt like old times again. It was such a pity my connection got cut off halfway and I lost a lot of my history! 😦 I remember I asked him about KTV that was to be held last Saturday and he told me to go as he had two songs he wanted me to sing. I forgot to ask him what they were…
He smsed me on Monday to ask if we could meet as he had cancelled his leave. It was great receiving his sms although there was no way I could join him then! It was a horrible day!
Then he called on Tuesday morning to confirm our meeting time. I could feel thrills (is that what it is called?) down my spine when I heard his voice after so long. Then I became paranoid and asked if he couldn’t make it for lunch.
Our lunch was scheduled for 12.30pm. I really can’t describe my feelings when I left the office. It was a sense of anticipation, nervousness, happiness, all rolled into one.
Then as I crossed the T Junction to go to Holland V, I received a call from him. Apparently he had missed his free shuttle bus to Holland V and was taking a bus. So he asked if I had left office and whether I wanted to wait for him at the bus stop. So I told himI had already walked beyond that and told him I would wait for him at the traffic junction. At this point, I felt very good already. 🙂 Then he said he didn’t want me to wait under the hot sun and told me to wait under some void deck. I was practically blushing at that point! 🙂 I just felt it was so sweet! This is one of the many instances I feel he actually has the vibes for me and suddenly I feel on top of the world.
When he reached and I saw him waiting at the junction, he gave such a nice smile and a good wave. I know I have missed him. And really, at that instance, I was thinking we are only separated by 3 traffic lanes! Duh!
Then we walked to Holland V and along the way, we had a pretty good conversation. We went to Thai Express for lunch. And it was then I managed to take a good look at him. He hasn’t changed much; he is still the same considerate, confident and thoughtful guy I knew a few years ago.
And he remembers! He remembered that we also ate at the Thai Express at Plaza Sing before, and that was like two years ago!
And as usual, he was telling me to expand my social circle, sign up for more activities to know more guys. And as usual, all I wanted to tell him was I just want to know you better! He did suggest bringing me to some places that he though were interesting, but we will just see how things go from there. I usually try not to be too optimistic about such things.
Then he said something that really shocked me. He said he was involved in a car accident on Saturday night while out with his friends and the taxi had missed him by inches. I didn’t know what to say except to be really shocked. I thought if (touchwood) something really happened to him, not confessing to him would turn out to my biggest regret. Just like on TV, I know. But well, it is still status quo now..
Then we left and he offered to give me a taxi lift back to office. And the end. This was the end of our short date.
This morning, on my way to work, on the overhead bridge, I saw the traffic junction and I was reminded by yesterday’s date and emotions just welled up in me. I realised I miss him so much…:(
I realise I have devoted much of this entry to talk about it, but I don’t want to forgot anything so..