Category Archives: Work whines

Slow-mo

It’s a slow Monday afternoon and i’m in the midst of a presentation by teachers on their teaching research. Not the most interesting of stuff, but I decided to attend it anyway.

Things are getting increasingly frustrating on the work front. I have come to realize that some things are just beyond our control no matter how hard we try.

Things are moving slowly; you put up a proposal, it goes to your boss, wait a few days, boss comes back with some comments, comments enough for you to scramble and flip files to hunt for the elusive answer. Revised proposal goes back to back, and the process repeats. You get the picture.

In the mean time, you bear the brunt of facing and trying to manage angry teachers and principals.

Oh dear, it’s only Monday and I badly need a break again..

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Zonked out

Another unproductive day again. I am supposed to come up with the tender specifications for our advertising campaign and I have not moved far since morning. There are so many points on my mind but they are all just jumbled up with no structure.

I can imagine my GP teacher telling me to do an essay outline first, an outline with a heading, body and conclusion. Man!

Anyway, Dad gave me that look again when I reached home at 10pm last night (which is usual). He wonders why I am working so late when I had earlier told him that after March, I should be relatively less tied with up with work. Remind me to keep my mouth shut in future…

I was already so tired already and he had to throw his temper. Crap!

But I must admit the long hours are taking a toil on me slowly… I haven’t been able to sleep well these days; my sleep is always interrupted. I survive on less than 6 hours of sleep a day. From leaving the house to board the bus at 7.15pm, I now board the bus between 7.30 to 7.45am.. I just can’t seem to wake up on time…

Sigh

On the edge of depression

I am seriously stressed up. The Career Exhibition at Suntec is coming up in a few more hours. By then, it will be D Day, where my directors see the booth and start giving (bad)comments.

I was attending to this stupid event the whole of today. Out of office to see to the voice recording, then at the booth until 10.30pm to see to the construction. And I have to admit that the result is less than satisfactory, to put it nicely. It really, really helps to be less critical, and to do less nit picking. It hurts and it is annoying when you spend so much time on something, and when the final product is up, all you get are people who make insensitive comments like “the size of the chart is wrong”, there is a missing comma there”, etc. You get it, little little details! And I was very very pissed off when my colleague gave comments like this. I mean, what do you expect me to do? There is no time to change anything now right? People are always more critical when it is not their own work.

The week so far has been nothing short of a chockful of emotions for me. Last Thursday, we arranged over MSN to meet for lunch yesterday (Tuesday) as his boss wanted some recruitment brochures from the different ministries. The conversation was good; it felt like old times again. It was such a pity my connection got cut off halfway and I lost a lot of my history! 😦 I remember I asked him about KTV that was to be held last Saturday and he told me to go as he had two songs he wanted me to sing. I forgot to ask him what they were…

He smsed me on Monday to ask if we could meet as he had cancelled his leave. It was great receiving his sms although there was no way I could join him then! It was a horrible day!

Then he called on Tuesday morning to confirm our meeting time. I could feel thrills (is that what it is called?) down my spine when I heard his voice after so long. Then I became paranoid and asked if he couldn’t make it for lunch.

Our lunch was scheduled for 12.30pm. I really can’t describe my feelings when I left the office. It was a sense of anticipation, nervousness, happiness, all rolled into one.

Then as I crossed the T Junction to go to Holland V, I received a call from him. Apparently he had missed his free shuttle bus to Holland V and was taking a bus. So he asked if I had left office and whether I wanted to wait for him at the bus stop. So I told himI had already walked beyond that and told him I would wait for him at the traffic junction. At this point, I felt very good already. 🙂 Then he said he didn’t want me to wait under the hot sun and told me to wait under some void deck. I was practically blushing at that point! 🙂 I just felt it was so sweet! This is one of the many instances I feel he actually has the vibes for me and suddenly I feel on top of the world.

When he reached and I saw him waiting at the junction, he gave such a nice smile and a good wave. I know I have missed him. And really, at that instance, I was thinking we are only separated by 3 traffic lanes! Duh!

Then we walked to Holland V and along the way, we had a pretty good conversation. We went to Thai Express for lunch. And it was then I managed to take a good look at him. He hasn’t changed much; he is still the same considerate, confident and thoughtful guy I knew a few years ago.

And he remembers! He remembered that we also ate at the Thai Express at Plaza Sing before, and that was like two years ago!

And as usual, he was telling me to expand my social circle, sign up for more activities to know more guys. And as usual, all I wanted to tell him was I just want to know you better! He did suggest bringing me to some places that he though were interesting, but we will just see how things go from there. I usually try not to be too optimistic about such things.

Then he said something that really shocked me. He said he was involved in a car accident on Saturday night while out with his friends and the taxi had missed him by inches. I didn’t know what to say except to be really shocked. I thought if (touchwood) something really happened to him, not confessing to him would turn out to my biggest regret. Just like on TV, I know. But well, it is still status quo now..

Then we left and he offered to give me a taxi lift back to office. And the end. This was the end of our short date.

This morning, on my way to work, on the overhead bridge, I saw the traffic junction and I was reminded by yesterday’s date and emotions just welled up in me. I realised I miss him so much…:(

I realise I have devoted much of this entry to talk about it, but I don’t want to forgot anything so..

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I am counting down

The family left for Hong Kong early this morning. Thank God they reached safely. I am counting down to the days they come home.

The flat is so quiet; I will make sure I won’t grumble when it gets too noisy once they come back :p

A piece of news that was quite shocking came through at work today. My manager is leaving her current position and will be posted to a new role come Dec 1. When I heard it, I have to admit I was a little happy. Because I had heard not so good comments about her. But that happiness soon disappeared because I knew she wasn’t that bad after quite an inisghtful conversation on Friday. I guess I will miss her; after all, she praised me for being articulate and confident during my interview! I wonder what she thinks of me now.

The hierarchy in the company is slowly getting on my nerves. I submitted a proposal to the AD, and being the newbie, I had copied the previous year’s format so I knew absolutely nothing. And the AD had to ask me the nitty gritty details and I had to go back to my manager for clarifications. And their work cubicles are just side by side!!

I am feeling lonely tonight; probably because I had expected too much, only to get nothing in return. He is not online. 😦 

Lazy afternoon

My ex-colleague C, gave birth yesterday! I can’t wait to see the baby, but I haven’t gotten anything for mother and daughter yet, so I will probably visit them at their place sometime next week. Plus, the family would be away in Hong Kong most of next week.

 I thought I had already gotten over the disappointment of being left out. I guess it is not so much of the disappointment; it is more of the loneliness that will creep in once I reach home. Luckily I still have that rascal for company.

And I was tearing on my way to work in the train whenever I think of it happening… Sigh.

Fifth day of work and work is slowly trickling in. I got a call from an unfamiliar number. Picked it and realised it was one of my customers from the bank. This is one problematic customer, being so paranoid over a simple Internet banking PIN. Thankfully, she only wanted to know her account numbers so I got my ex-colleagues to help out.

 This is the third (actually picked up) call I have gotten since leaving and I wonder how many more there will be. It is ok if the customers who call are my nice customers; I wouldn’t mind having a chat with them, but if it is going to be those nasty customers, I don’t know I can guard against their calls. Maybe I really should fork out $20 bucks to change my number…

 Going for meeting soon… at such a timing! It better not drag man! 

**Edit: The meeting lasted for two hours and only ended at 7pm! And it was quite a tense one. Our meeting was with the heads and my manager was arguing with the “biggest head”. I just had to pretend to act nonchalant and busy taking down minutes! Great! First real taste of bureaucracy!